Hello beautiful human,
The little elderberry is getting ready to flower. The Guides to Growing Elderberry tell me that in the first year I should pinch off the flowers so the bush puts all its energy into the leaves and roots. Probably sound advice, but I can’t bring myself to do it. The little plant wants to flower. It’s quite exuberant. And who am I to pinch off that potential? It would be like if a 7 year old brought home a painting they were proud of and I said, “Well, if you study hard for the next fifteen years, maybe you’ll be somewhere.”
I do know stories like that. The freshman in college who wanted to major in creative writing and her parent said, “What do you have to write about?” The man who never explored his creative voice because he wasn’t sure he’d be good enough at it. Singers, dancers, artists who were laughed at, written off, or outright just told it wasn’t practical and what were they going to do for a living. A lot of us are walking around with a lot of shame and fear and unrealized aspects of ourselves.
Maybe you feel me on this.
I’m going to trust that if a little bush wants to flower, it’s because it’s time for it to flower. If a person rearranges the furniture, paints or dances or sings or writes something, if they switch careers or take up volunteering or start building sand castles every Friday, it’s because it’s time for that expression. Maybe they’ll do it differently next week. Maybe in a few years they’ll look back and think Oh that was such an early, clumsy effort. Of course it was! Toddlers don’t dance the Nutcracker. We all start somewhere. We won’t get anywhere if we don’t allow ourselves to play around a little bit and try something.
Here’s a start: set a timer for five minutes when you won’t be interrupted. Close your eyes, take a breath, and just feel into what you might want to do if you ever had the chance. What floats up into your mind? Image, memory, song lyric? Just a feeling?
We’re all growing as we go. It’s okay not to be there yet. None of us are. We just pretend like we’ve made it. Don’t be fooled.
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